How to Involve Siblings During Home Birth
/Bringing a new baby into the family is a big deal - especially for older siblings. Their world is about to shift in a major way, and wondering how that transition will go can add stress on top of bringing a newborn into the home. If you’re planning a home birth, you might be wondering: Should they be part of it? Will they be interested? Will they freak out?
The good news? With a little prep, siblings can actually be a really sweet part of the birth experience and witness birth as a natural and beautiful event rather than a mysterious or overwhelming process.
Prep Older Siblings for a Home Birth
Preparation is everything. You don’t want your toddler waking up in the morning totally confused about why you’re in a birth pool when he just wants his breakfast. Here are some tips to set them (and you!) up for success:
Talk About Birth in an Age-Appropriate Way
Explain how babies are born in a way that makes sense for their age. Keep it simple for little ones (“Mommy might make some loud noises that help the baby come out!” “It can get a little messy, but mommy is not hurt and everything will get cleaned up later.”), and a bit more detailed for older kids. Consider showing them a calm home birth video so they are aware of what it may look and sound like.
Picture books, videos, and storytelling can help make the concept more relatable. Some great books include Hello Baby by Jenni Overend and Welcome With Love by Jenni Overend.
Let Them Help Set Up
Kids love to feel involved! Let them help set up the birth space by picking out blankets, choosing a special toy for the baby, or making a “Welcome Baby” sign.Make a Plan
Decide in advance where your child will be during labor. Some kids will want to be front-and-center, and others may be floating in and out. Having a trusted adult available to support and guide them—such as a grandparent, friend, or doula—can provide flexibility.Make sure you have a backup plan - birth can sometimes become intense, so make sure the child has a cozy place to go to if needed. If labor kicks in at night (as it so often does), will they wake up or sleep through it? Have a plan in place for every timing scenario.
Play “Pretend Birth”
Children often process emotions through play. Use dolls or stuffed animals to act out labor, pushing, and meeting the baby. This is a fun way to help them learn and feel ready for the real thing!
How to Involve Siblings in the Birth Process
If a child wants to be a part of the big moment, their role can be as interactive or observational as they and you feel comfortable with. Here are some ways to make them feel included:
Being a Birth Partner – They can offer water, cool washcloths, or hold your hand.
Announcing the Baby’s Arrival – Let them be the first to say, “The baby is here!” If the baby’s sex is a surprise and they are old enough to know the difference, they could be the ones to announce if it is a boy or girl.
First Greetings – Allow them to gently touch or talk to their new sibling right after birth.
Cutting the Cord – An older child could be involved in cord cutting under supervision.
Taking Photos or Drawing the Moment – Giving a child a small camera or letting them draw a picture of the birth scene can help them feel included and remember the day.
Remember, it’s up to the child if they want to do any of these things at all! Let them take the lead on how much they want to watch or be a part of the process.
Helping Siblings Transition After Birth
Once the baby arrives, emotions can be mixed—joy, excitement, and even jealousy. Here are some ways to make the transition smoother:
One-on-One Time – Spend special moments with your older child to reassure them that they’re still an important part of the family. Even just 10 focused minutes can make a huge difference.
Let Them Help – Ask them to help with small tasks, like picking out the baby’s clothes, grabbing a diaper, or singing a lullaby.
Validate Their Feelings – If they’re struggling, let them know it’s okay to express their emotions! Remind them that they’re still super important and that love keeps growing with the family.
Make Them Feel Special – Help them embrace their new identity as a big sibling with a “helper” badge, a special book, or a one-on-one “big sibling date.”
Home birth can be such an incredible experience for older siblings, as long as they are prepared and supported. The key is making them feel included, respected, and loved.
At the end of the day, this is a huge transition for everyone, but with a little planning (and lots of patience!), you can create a foundation for a strong sibling bond and a cherished family memory.